Vocation - Marriage & Family

Father, you have made the union of man and woman so holy a mystery that it symbolizes the marriage of Christ and his Church….

Father, keep them always true to your commandments.  Keep them faithful in marriage and let them be living examples of Christian life.  Give them the strength which comes from the gospel so that they may be witnesses of Christ to others. Bless them with children and help them to be good parents.  May they live to see their children’s children.  And after a happy old age, grant them the fullness of life with the saints in the kingdom of heaven.
--RITE OF MARRIAGE

Being a Disciple of Christ

Authority in Marriage

Today it seems as though many families are run as though they are a business…income, overhead, training…subcontract out work to care for the children!

“Given the prevailing cultural materialism, the objective of the so-called family is best characterized as one fulfilling material needs.”

Family is not a business…but the Church itself!
It is a community to make Christ present to the world.

A parent looks toward the family as a whole…not to divide up the work.

Mary Stanford said that St. Paul’s charge for husbands to love their wives and for wives to be submissive to their husbands is full of wisdom.  “Today’s feminist ideology, which identifies any difference with inequality, completely disregards the words of St. Paul as being culturally conditioned by the dominating-male and servile-female notion of antiquity.”

The Man was created to look to the future.  He is called to be Master.  His body and soul are made to fight and conquer.  He will possess and enjoy.  He can distance himself and pursue long term.  He accomplishes goals and is project oriented.  He is the head of the house.  He has an authority to guide.  He can coordinate for the common good.  He will insure harmonious and united development of all members of the family.  He will foster life and is self sacrificing.  He will help his wife to fulfill her role.

A husband’s authority—headship—is not even possible without a free and gracious reception on the part of his wife, explained Mary Stanford.  “Indeed, a husband needs to be allowed—freed—enabled—to be head.  A man’s headship is a free gift from wife to husband for the sake of all.  A father is called to self-sacrifice to the point of death for his beloved ones.  Like Christ, he is not a tyrant, but a lover.  He does not exercise authority by taking, but by giving.”

The Woman lives in the present moment.  She was designed to receive and bear life – to nurture, cherish, guard and preserve.  She is aware of the total being of her child.  She is understanding and her emotions give her the capacity to mother.  She is attuned to the growth and development of her children.  Her nature is person oriented.  She will communicate well with her husband.

The woman is a gift to the husband.  The man is a gift to the wife.  She has a free choice and volunteers or chooses to serve him and accept him as the head of the house.  She is to pray for him to make the right decisions for the family.  The husband must always remember that it is God’s will and not that of his own that must be carried out.

Together the man and wife compliment one another and are both absolutely necessary for the family.  A daughter needs her father to show her by the way he treats her mother how she should be treated and thus avoid her being mistreated by a man.  A man also is the one who shows the baby (whose mother is like an extension of him/herself) how to separate from the mother and become his/her own person.

Because of the nature of the man he can get lost in a project and not give attention to where it is needed.  He can choose things over people or treat people like objects.

Because of the woman being person oriented…the natural care for others can be perverted into gossiping or sometimes doing too much…trying to fix others problems…meddling.  She can also allow the man to treat her like an object.

Concluding Stanford stated, “There will be no authentic equality between spouses, no true flourishing of the persons in the family and no embodiment of the domestic church without self-sacrificing love and generous acceptance on the part of man and wife.  The asymmetry—or better the complementary difference—between man and woman is placed at the foundation of family life precisely because it is life-giving—physically and spiritually.”

Acclaimed professor of John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, Mary Stanford was a speaker in July of 2007 at Christendom College’s Summer Institute on Marriage and the Family.